In October 2018, when I was about to complete my triple negative Breast Cancer treatment which involved surgery, chemo, and radiotherapy in Dubai, I knew I had to change things in my life in the post-cancer phase.
I needed to focus on what truly mattered to me. Basically, I wanted to:
- Take time to think and heal
- Learn new things for fun or out of interest
- Share what I had learned so far (a legacy issue I assume)
- Support cancer patients and be useful
- Enjoy life, meet new people, have more fun experience and not waste a minute
Trusting my guts
I believe I have mentioned in a previous post that I took 3 months sabbatical between January and March 2019 during which I took my CELTA certification to learn how to teach ESL (English Second Language), a started a digital marketing course (which I completed at the end of June of that year), I took singing classes (instead of physio sessions to recover some of the lost breathing capacity after the radiation burnt my left lung). I reconnected with sculpture and painting.
During that time, I also decided that I had nothing to prove to others nor myself anymore from a professional point of view and resign from my full-time employment to come back as a freelancer in April 2019. The decision opened the door to a much more important realization: it was maybe time for us to relocate to France.
There were several reasons for that.
First, our situation in Dubai was more fragile (no safety net if hubby was ever losing his job, the price of education, housing, the issue of medical insurance, and pre-existing conditions).
Second, I wasn’t ready to let go my eldest to university 7h-flight away from us one year later. I wanted to keep the family together a bit longer, or at least not so far away. Call me mama bear if you want 😊. More seriously, part of me still lives with the fear of reoccurrence, and I needed to ensure that I would still be close to them all. Just in case. No matter how silly it sounds.
Planning the move
That decision was taken, I started getting ready and making plans. I wanted to train as a professional Coach and registered in a French institute in summer 2019. The relocation was planned for summer 2020 and I had a year to get ready: finding schools, giving notice to tenants in Paris, selling furniture, planning the refurb in Paris, finding a job so hubby would join us asap, etc.
In parallel, in Dubai, I was active with the Pink Ladies and as The Cancer Majlis, working as a freelancer as a hospitality consultant, teaching in Dubai College of Tourism, teaching French & English as a second language, and taking care of my health.
I was job hunting in the hospitality sector from Dubai when the pandemic started in January 2020. To cut the story short, I stopped sending CVs when the planet went into lockdown in March… who would employ me in hospitality?
Adjusting the sails
While the planet was coming to the realization that health was precious and debating what would be the planet’s “new normal”, I knew I just had to adjust sails to continue with our family project, just like Cancer had taught me.
When I put on hold my job hunt, I started working on a plan B. Forget about an A-Job, I just needed work to make a living and hopefully still in line with my post Cancer treatment goals. I work on 2 websites: one about the various skills I had developed recently and that weren’t on my LinkedIn page, another to support my Coaching activity. In fact, it was also the time I was preparing my Coach certification and dissertation. The lockdown gave me a chance to focus on the preparation of the certification which I passed in April 2020. Right afterward, in May, I started contacting Hospitality schools in Paris to find a lecturer position (or various).
The last few months in Dubai were really hectic and stressful. Selling, donating our stuff in Dubai, trying to get things organized in Paris (thank God my parents were there), gathering job leads in Paris and zooming. Zooming for everything, with everyone. When I landed in Paris on July 30th with the 3 kids, I had everything to get sorted from an admin point of view, I had 2 hospitality schools with job leads (nothing confirmed), and I had no time to feel sorry or sad. The kids needed me, my little one in particular.
A new start
These last few months were so intense that I had no much time to think however I tried to always keep in mind my goals, never forget my health, and try to find a balance.
I worked, worked, worked, during the week. Today, I don’t have a job but various: I teach English (ESL), I teach in 2 hospitality schools (4 subjects in total in French and English), do educational engineering for one of them, I create online teaching content for another, I coach, and I am a Hospitality consultant. None of them are enough to make a living but all together they do, I learn every day and so far, it makes me happy.
On weekend, I dedicated some time to art joined by my daughter which made it even more pleasant. As you can see on my dedicated Instagram wall, I mainly enjoy sculpture and I happen to draw and paint as well. This is very relaxing and I see the healing progress: this winter I started sculpting ladies with hair!
From a family life point of view, I could be there for my sons, at least did my very best. However, I truly miss my Dubai friends. I also miss Aicha (our helper for 14 years in Dubai who moved back to Indonesia) and of course, hubby. Due to the travel restrictions, work situation etc., we could only be together for 14 days in over a year… The good news is that he is joining us for good after eventually finding a job in Paris, late September.
Health
Healthwise, it has been a bit hectic but I am good.
I eventually found a medical team and I am blessed for the medical system we have in France. I have a very sweet and professional oncologist (let’s call her Dr. Charlotte) in one of the Paris public hospitals 15-minute walk away from home. I still can’t believe how lucky I am to have free medical coverage for Cancer follow-up just because of my passport.
The follow-up protocol is different than in UAE (and hospitals not as fancy) but fundamentals are there and things are done seriously and thoroughly.
In few months, I should be celebrating 3-year remission but let not say much about that yet (scanxiety here I come).
What about The Cancer Majlis?
Well, I honestly had no time to keep on posting. My brain was full and had little space to take on more. This year has been a crazy hectic year. It feels like I passed the test but I had to be reasonable to make some choices.
That being said, I didn’t find time to write or post however I did continue being involved and supporting patients. I have to admit that things didn’t go as per plan (as if they ever do!). I had in mind to continue dedicating some time to Cancer survivors as I used to in Dubai but from a distance. Unfortunately, last September, I got to know that my contribution wasn’t welcome anymore. It did hurt of course (actually, it was more of a slap in the face). I, therefore, looked for local options and found SKIN Association. The aim is to support the survivors in the living after or with Cancer through Art mentorship and projects. I didn’t feel legitimate to mentor on an art project, however, I offered 2h a week to facilitate Co-Development groups.
That being said, I promise I will post at least weekly on The Cancer Majlis Facebook and Instagram pages as of now.
I am really glad the summer break gave me a chance to catch up and reconnect.
What about my goals?
Looking back at the last few months, I must say that I am glad to say that if my life-changing totally in the last 3 years, I am absolutely aligned with my goals and happy:
- Take time to think and heal: I followed my instinct, dared to bring in the change
- Learn new things for fun or out of interest: Oh yes, every day. Preparing classes, jumping on new experiences, chatting or reading, trying new things
- Share what I had learned so far (a legacy issue I assume): Absolutely. Teaching, supporting, mentoring, and coaching. Those who are interested and asking for help only.
- Support cancer patients and be useful: Hopefully, I help and give back some of what I received when I was there on dark days.
Basically, I enjoy life, love meeting new people, having new fun experiences, leaving room and time for opportunities.
Connecting dots
The funny part of this journey is that at the beginning I could feel people were looking at me as if I had lost my sanity (“she must be on some kind of PTSD”). I didn’t know what to answer just that I wasn’t scared to follow my guts.
Some time back, an English class student (who happens to also be a Cancer survivor reminded me of the “connecting dots” speech from Steve Jobs. You might want to watch it but in essence, what he meant was that you must have the courage to follow your heart and intuition trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. He was so right: I followed my instinct and life connected the dots. Everything eventually fell into place. I am who and where I am meant to be.
To conclude, I would say that if you are at the beginning of your own journey, just be patient. What matters, is to take the required time. Don’t rush, let things mature’ Dots will eventually connect. In fact, the biggest challenge is to learn how to recognize opportunities and dare to take them.