Today, it is one year. My Cancerversary. One year I am done with treatments. I should celebrate, I am a happy person. When I think about it, I just cry. A flow of tears. I put my iPod on. David Bowie’s “Life on Mars” song, I am a fountain.
It is a milestone but is it a victory? A celebration? It seems like yesterday though some much happened in the last 12 months…
Read More12 months…
A lot I can be proud of I assume. Am I fully “healed”? Still work in progress. Physically, I am still recovering from side effects. Emotionally, I am fine. Glad I brought changes in my life. Am I fine every day, no. Some days are fragile. Today is one of them.
I could have posted this morning a joyful thing about remission. But what about those who aren’t? What if I celebrate to find out in my next follow up appointment, that the pulmonary discomfort and the back & neck pain I experience are a relapse? Stress of the survivor of course.
Can I be called a survivor, not yet. I don’t know if I survived for good. Remission is few more years.
And now, what?
Tomorrow, I will see an osteopath for my back & neck pain. As per the pulmonologist my lung is as good as can be post radiation. I should visit my oncologist too for planned follow-up, but I don’t feel like taking an appointment today. I need few days to calm down or he might think I am crazy. Though, I am probably not the only one feeling like that on an a Cancerversary.
I should be happy but I would rather do something useful for the others, at least it would think “useful”. Anyhow, this is the kind of anniversary that no one else remembers so nothing to justify. Back to work and off to some well needed art-therapy later. Tomorrow will be a new day. A normal day.
Happy Cancerversary to me.
Understanding the Difference Between Cure and Remission
Cure means that there are no traces of your cancer after treatment and the cancer will never come back.
Remission means that the signs and symptoms of your cancer are reduced. Remission can be partial or complete. In a complete remission, all signs and symptoms of cancer have disappeared.
If you remain in complete remission for 5 years or more, some doctors may say that you are cured. Still, some cancer cells can remain in your body for many years after treatment. These cells may cause the cancer to come back one day. For cancers that return, most do so within the first 5 years after treatment. But, there is a chance that cancer will come back later. For this reason, doctors cannot say for sure that you are cured. The most they can say is that there are no signs of cancer at this time.
Because of the chance that cancer can come back, your doctor will monitor you for many years and do tests to look for signs of cancer’s return. They will also look for signs of late side effects from the cancer treatments you received.
Source: Cancer.gov